October October,
I don't want to spend you sober,
You’ll appear with the years,
Almost bringing me to tears,
I won't ever see you the same,
But my emotions I must keep tame,
To shelter what's real,
But then I know I'll never heal.
It's nearly a year on,
But to me no time has gone,
It's still crystal clear,
The sounds I heard I still hear,
The darkness I could see,
With my eyes shut tightly,
I want to be rid of this with grace,
But instead the tears roll down my face.
I want to be mad,
Feel angry for the theft of the drive I once had,
Instead I just feel weak,
That I can't handle it and I feel like a freak,
An outsider of my own body and mind,
I just wish to myself I could be kind,
But it is me that's the issue,
Constantly being pathetic and needing a tissue.
I could have done more,
Why I didn't I'm not sure,
I don't know why I froze,
But it wasn't a decision I chose,
That might not seem clear,
But until you're struck with an indescribable fear,
I ask of you to wait,
As I try and find my own clean slate.
Even this poem is a start,
To fix whatever is going on in my head and in my heart,
I should trust in time,
The time it takes to heal this crime,
I want to believe in myself and know Ill be fine,
But my confidence isn't something I can design,
I'll work on it while I work on it all,
And if I'm lucky I'll survive this fall.
-
Author:
braintoquatrain (
Offline) - Published: October 23rd, 2017 19:12
- Comment from author about the poem: This poem was a way for me to at what I can\\\'t to the people around me, a way to release the anxiety and pain surrounding October. I wrote it before the month came but it means a lot to me as it is so personal and I am sharing it for anyone going through the same thing.
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 37
Offline)
Comments3
Beautifully put. Art made out of a twisted wreck is the phrase that springs to my mind.
Thank you!
A bravely spoken poem about a terrible experience. Brain! I once dated a girl who had been date-raped, and I saw what an effect it had on her. My heart goes out to girls who have been abused in this insidious way. Kudos for expressing it in this fine poem!
Thank you! It's a difficult subject but like you said it really does effect people in ways out of anyone's control!
Thank you for writing this
Thank you for reading.
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