He stands nervously at the alter,
Awaiting his bride to be.
He looks round,
Nobody is watching,
So he sips his sherry,
Wishing he had brought Goldies scotch,
But Goldie knew he would ruin it with water.
The organ came to life
And played the brides song;
“Another one bites the dust!” *
Orchi stood up straight
And looked forward,
Suddenly there next to him
Her frontage went passed,
Orchi swooned at the sight,
And then KP was next to him.
The priest stood in front of them,
His prayer book laying
On KP’s breasts, as they were to hand.
“We are Gathered here today
To join this man
And this woman
With enormous boobs!
Sorry Lord!
And this woman
In some short term of matrimony”
(She had already seen her next victim)
“Who has the rings”
“I do!” I replied,
I laid the rings on the breasts,
Oops, prayer book.
Orchi took one,
Put it on KP’s finger
“With this ring I thee wed” He mumbled
KP took the other one,
Fastened around Orchi’s neck,
“With this ring
I thee own” She shouted!
The priest concluded
“I now pronounce you
Man, boobs and wife.
Sorry again Lord.”
As Orchi and KP walked back
Back down the aisle
The music was played
The notes from Chopin
Filled the Church
As Orchi was led away
Chain attached to the ring
The wedding ring around his neck.
The day was coming to an end,
The married couple still together.
They went to the marital bed.
KP removed her coat,
Orchi swooned,
But could not fall
The chain was attached to a hook.
He came too and KP was in bed,
Two mountains pushing up the bedclothes.
Orchi went to the bed
Removed the covers,
And just glimpsed his new wife
Before he swooned once more.
As he came too words came to his mind
Words of what he must do,
So he stood up and howled
In his catlike voice
“Fight the Good Fight
With all thy might!” **
And with eyes closed
He went to the marital bed,
Drank his sherry,
Ate his pork pies,
Looked at KP from the neck up,
He daren’t look lower,
Said good night,
And went over to his guinea pigs,
Said “Cooee!” to them
And slept with them
In peaceful harmony.
-
Author:
Goldfinch60 (Pseudonym) (
Offline) - Published: October 31st, 2017 02:32
- Comment from author about the poem: Well todays the day when Orchi marries KP. This is my offering to celebrate the day (or not, as the case may be.) the asterisks in the poem refer to the youtube scripts below. COOOEEEEE!! ORCHI!! * https://youtu.be/rY0WxgSXdEE ** https://youtu.be/Bgl4SoI-5sk
- Category: Love
- Views: 75
- Users favorite of this poem: Accidental Poet
Offline)
Comments7
Oh lol, just right, and specially-chosen music Gold! heehee. Oh yes, that old Orchi got more sense and more comfort out of the guinea pigs in the end! He's a one! He's got away with it for now - it's been postponed. But it only delays the agony for him (i.e. me!).
Well, I thought so, though Santita is back - so it's all on again?! Oh woe!
Oh, this is precious. Do we need to send in a medical team to revive orchi? I think he's overswooned. Good luck orchi. ; )
Medical teams may need to be on hand.
Come on people, back away, back away. Please give orchi some room to swoon I mean breathe.
Oh this is too cute!! I enjoyed it very much!!
Thanks Christina, glad you enjoyed it.
Well written description of the big event, Goldie. I can just see them both ... the boobs that is.
That seems to be the only thing many people see or can deal with.
As depicted often in your poem, how could they be ignored?
Lol
Glad I brought a laugh to you, my day has been worthwhile.
Depends who is preaching!!!
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