KP And Orchi Got Married.

He stands nervously at the alter,

Awaiting his bride to be.

He looks round,

Nobody is watching,

So he sips his sherry,

Wishing he had brought Goldies scotch,

But Goldie knew he would ruin it with water.

 

The organ came to life

And played the brides song;

“Another one bites the dust!”  *

Orchi stood up straight

And looked forward,

Suddenly there next to him

Her frontage went passed,

Orchi swooned at the sight,

And then KP was next to him.

The priest stood in front of them,

His prayer book laying

On KP’s breasts, as they were to hand.

“We are Gathered here today

To join this man

And this woman

With enormous boobs!

Sorry Lord!

And this woman

In some short term of matrimony”

(She had already seen her next victim)

 

“Who has the rings”

“I do!” I replied,

I laid the rings on the breasts,

Oops, prayer book.

Orchi took one,

Put it on KP’s finger

“With this ring I thee wed” He mumbled

KP took the other one,

Fastened around Orchi’s neck,

“With this ring

I thee own” She shouted!

The priest concluded

“I now pronounce you

Man, boobs and wife.

Sorry again Lord.”

As Orchi and KP walked back

Back down the aisle

The music was played

The notes from Chopin  

Filled the Church

As Orchi was led away

Chain attached to the ring

The wedding ring around his neck.

 

The day was coming to an end,

The married couple still together.

They went to the marital bed.

KP removed her coat,

Orchi swooned,

But could not fall

The chain was attached to a hook.

He came too and KP was in bed,

Two mountains pushing up the bedclothes.

Orchi went to the bed

Removed the covers,

And just glimpsed his new wife

Before he swooned once more.

As he came too words came to his mind

Words of what he must do,

So he stood up and howled

In his catlike voice

“Fight the Good Fight

With all thy might!”   **

And with eyes closed

He went to the marital bed,

Drank his sherry,

Ate his pork pies,

Looked at KP from the neck up,

He daren’t look lower,

Said good night,

And went over to his guinea pigs,

Said “Cooee!” to them

And slept with them

In peaceful harmony.