Burning Man Shun

most likely ecstatic pleasure to witnesses burnable –

non toxic – debris acquired from ma dad

who set flame 'most all the household trash

whilst he lived at 324 level road,

collegeville, pennsylvania pad

though he never filed a license

with the township,

he did get figuratively slapped,

and paid a heft fine

for depriving sanitation department

regarding motley crue to collect his trash,

which nondisbutable penalty,

no doubt found him mad

nonetheless he still set fire

to a gamut of combustible material, and this lad

(well actually, I hapt tubby a grown man at the time,

excitedly, ironically, osmotically

contracted, enacted, and grafted feverish itch

to create small scale “burning man festival”,

expericenced giddiness

doused with, than gasoline ignited

asper one matchless flame

drippled teepee shaped temporary

(soon burnt offerings) with glee and “EGAD”

and at random intervals of time

logged miles onto our family vehicle

and drove from our (thine

begotten daughters with wife)

riding a crest of euphoria anologous of cap'n Ahab

when harpooning poor “Moby Dick” - a “baad”

ass Leviaton of a whale,

hence pumped with adrenaline

sparking mission

(that Smoky The Bear would abhor)

this pyromaniacal grippe had

a strangle hold upon yours truly

(with nary the merest hint from spouse)

felt reluctant to inform spouse,

nor even provide merest hint

her husband i.e. me a secret rad

duck cull at least within the framework

viz fascination with fire)

sans missionary confided tomb me via Prometheus

to ignite assorted plastic bags of rubbish (which included:

sweepings from kitchen floor, paper documents providing

confidential information,

collected combed hairs, et cetera

which fixation/obsession found close calls 

with the local fire company

when, what appeared as an innocent bundle of kindling

(old newspapers crumbled as tinder)

lept out of control

and began spreading like a wildfire

affecting neighbors to contacting Pipeline

(former the referenced Eagleville,

Pennsylvania engine house)

unwittingly giving a half globe away

silently knighed nod Bashar Asad,

but unlike the Syrian malevolent

self proclained ruler de jure

my exploits quickly extinguished and relieved

no price tag affixed to this unintended arson,

especially if burly chap delivering verbal edict named Vlad.