Mind Water

Brycycle

I am struggling to breathe

In the depths of my mind.

 

My strongest reach for help creates a ripple,

Yet the voices drown me in their tsunami.

 

A wave of hope pushes me,

But as I swim,

The current pulls me away.

 

The wreckages underneath me,

Only hold the chances I missed.

 

BG

-28/08/17-

  • Author: Brycycle (Offline Offline)
  • Published: November 8th, 2017 17:12
  • Comment from author about the poem: Short. Any other title ideas?
  • Category: Sad
  • Views: 58
  • User favorite of this poem: Noah.
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Comments3

  • FredPeyer

    Brycycle, maybe you could have called it "Hopeful Wreckages".
    I do like the metaphors and the way you build up in the first line of a stanza, then take it away again.
    Well written!

    • Brycycle

      Thanks Fred

    • Goldfinch60

      Those chances that you missed are all part of life's experience, it ensures that you will not miss them next time.
      Good write.

      • Brycycle

        I will certainly try not to miss them next time, thanks G

      • WL Schuett

        I like your title with all the water imagery it fits perfectly ... good poem

        • Brycycle

          Thank you WL



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