Conditioned Love

Love is a foreign thing to me
Theres always a condition
Everyone wants their voice heard
But no one wants to listen
Acceptance was always a dream of mine
The overachieving kid trying to earn love and affection
But just like everything materialistic
I had to wait my turn in line
Became so independent
I was my own best friend
People walking in and out my life over and over again
Over time you just get used to it
No one ever stays
Then one day you realize
Life is just one big game
To make it to the next level
You gotta get through the obstacles
They say youre stronger with others
But i find strength in solitude
Alone; ive always made it through
My outer shell is tough as steel
Youd never know how i really feel
What Im really going through
I wouldnt want you to know the truth
Outside looking in my life mustve looked picture perfect
No one had a clue at all that I had been hurting
I hold everything in
Dont let anyone in
No sign of weakness
I will defeat this
Life has always been this way
So forgive me if when you come close
I back away
Forgive me if i dont believe anything you say
If i wont play this game
Cause there was never an option for a team
Just a Player 2 against me