Pretty plastic roses
That you don’t have to tend
They’re always looking perfect
They’ll never see an end
Then there are picked roses
The kind with rips and tears
The petals fall off one by one
While you just sit and stare
She had them sitting on her shelf
The ones that used to live
Then faster faster day by day
They looked about to give
The tips were brown, she opened them
The bud had kept its red
She said that life, would not give up
And swore they were not dead
The sun then set a few more times
And even the hopeful fools
Could see those flowers had no life
Death followed certain rules
She gripped the vase that was made of glass
The redness all but there
The crispness of the flower stems
The blankness in her stare
She saw the plastic perfection
The ones that death had kept
They sat there perfect no rips or tears
And she wept and wept and wept
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Author:
User (
Offline) - Published: December 16th, 2017 13:29
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 21
Offline)
Comments2
WELCOME JILLYBEAN (love you pen name) Thanks for your first poem ~ perfection ! STRUCTURE: Seven balanced Quatrains with a consistent Rhyme Pattern (xaxa xbxb etc) ~ I am a Performance Poet and this recites perfectly a hallmark of a very good poem ! SUBJECT: In verses 1 & 2 you introduce the two species of ROSE ~ Synthetic (Plastic) & Natural ! The Plastic ones of course do not age and (provided you dust them) always stay as beautiful as when they were when they were manufactured. Real ROSES of course (like every living thing) change and decay and eventually die ~ even Elephants ! In verses 3 ~ 4 ~ 5 you describe the change and decay in the "Living Roses" and you are powerless to stop it ~ "Death follows certain rules! I the final verses you come back to the Plastic Roses and lament their "Eternal Life" just as you lamented the "Death" of the natural ones ! This Poem is better than you know and is capable of interpretation and application at so many levels in Life & Love ! We live in an increasingly "Plastic World" and the age of the Humanoid House Robot is upon us and I know that some Stupid Men will prefer them to natural Ladies because they will never have a Headache and never Age. Some Ladies are already married to ROBOTIC MEN and none of the Ladies I know would want to marry a Mechanical One ! Thanks for sharing an amazing Poem ~ more please ~ Yours BRIAN (UK) The way MPS works is you comment on others Poems and they will comment on yours ~ You can also build up a Circle of MPS Friends ~ OK ~ B.
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!! That was the best feedback I’ve ever gotten on anything probably. Thank you so much.
THANKS JILLY BEAN ~ I like to be positive and thorough in my comments ~ pleased you liked it ! Thanks for bring my MPS FRIEND ~ BRIAN (UK)
Your poem is lovely!
You should definitely write more:)
thank you so much 🙂
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