My hamster was freely running about on my bed
The next thing I know
The poor thing is dead
Running about, happily minding it's own knitting
My clumsy mate didn’t check where He was sitting
He sat on my hamster
Which I loved to bits
He sat on my hamster
Not for sexual kicks
He sat on my hamster
The thing was far from past it
He sat on my hamster
The dirty rotten bastard
You see this story goes back to when we were just kids
Preparing amphetamine in my bedroom
Which we called wizz
He sat on my hamster
We were fourteen years old
I'd left the room for a moment
My mate was fully clothed...
So I'm told
I returned to the room
Just a moment too late
"Syd!
I've sat on your hamster!
I'm so sorry mate!"
You sat on my hamster
Which I loved to bits
You sat on my hamster
I bet it was for sexual kicks!
You sat on my hamster
The thing was far from past it
You sat on my hamster
You dirty rotten bastard!
No time to explain to parents
The wizz was kicking in
So I hid the poor thing
In the waste paper bin
I'd explain in the morning once the drugs had wore off
Yes I'd explain in the morning
With an altered story
Explain in the morning
Making the story less gory
He sat on my hamster
Which I loved to bits
He sat on my hamster
Not for sexual kicks
He sat on my hamster
The thing was far from past it
He sat on my hamster
The dirty rotten bastard
The next morning I returned
My tail between my legs
The fabricated last hours of it's life
Filled me with dread
"Mam my poor hamster
He must have died peacefully last night"
I couldn't seem convincing though
Try as I might
He sat on my hamster
Which I loved to bits
He sat on my hamster
Not for sexual kicks
He sat on my hamster
The thing was far from past it
He sat on my hamster
The dirty rotten bastard
"I heard of your hamster
I wasn't born yesterday son
You're story's a farce
The last thing your hamster saw
Was your mates track suit bottom clad arse"
"He sat on your hamster
You take us for mugs
I heard all of the conversation
Including the drugs"
"Yes I heard everything
As I was in the next room
Your beloved hamster
Was taken to soon"
"Now go to your room and reflect on what you've done
We're angry and ashamed that you've lied to us son"
He sat on my hamster
The thing was far from past it
He sat on my hamster
The dirty rotten bastard
He sat on my hamster
It looked like it had been hit by a freight car
It should have been front page news...
Just like the above picture of Freddy Star
-
Author:
Syd (
Offline) - Published: December 18th, 2017 04:10
- Comment from author about the poem: True story. RIP Hammy
- Category: Sad
- Views: 29
Offline)
Comments6
I remember the FS story so well - and don't tell Orchidee about it. Gave me a Monday smile.
Thanks Michael, glad it made you smile. I know it's a dark tale but true. I was truly upset about the incident. It was 100% accidental. Yes I notice Orchidee has hamsters on his profile picture. I hope he won't be too upset. It happened a long time ago.
Thanks for reading - Syd
This true tale explains why young lads have to wait a while before learning what life has in store - a great flow to this sad little read of a loved hamster breathing his last. Sorry Syd but I had to hide a wry smile at your plight - hope your parents forgave you for lying to them.
Hi Fay, no need to apologise for your wry smile. I think my parent's forgave me, my father probably can't remember as it was 20 years ago, such a long time. I tried to make the poem humorous even though I was genuinely upset at the plight of my hamster.
Thanks for reading and leaving feedback - Syd
Arrghh they've mutated then, me hamsters! they're giant-size in me pic then. They are two guinea-pigs! lol.
A wonder he did not get nasty bite from the hamster, where he did not want it!
Yes so they are guinea pigs. Sorry for the mix up Orchidee. It was a Russian dwarf so it didn’t have much of a bite. He didn't get a bite anyway.
Thanks for reading - Syd
Lol. Thanks for reading James. Yes it is an epic sad story. - Syd
i have read this before.. if i am remembering rightly .. you are also on cosmofunnel ? i am sure i have seen this poem elsewhere... poor little hamster ..
Yes that's correct Yellowrose I'm also on CosmoFunnel. I see a few writers on here who are also on both sites.
Yes poor hamster. It was a genuine accident though. Thanks for reading - Syd
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