i used to think suicide was a permanent solution to a temporary problem. that was before i felt like this. that was before i cried myself to sleep most nights. that was before i felt like i was letting everyone down. before i was a disappointment. that was before i realized that my father must hate me. that my stepmom hates me. that my best friend must hate me. all of them must hate me to treat me like dirt. to lie to me. to disregard my feelings so much. to put themselves above me every single time. and then turn it around on me. i’m the horrible friend i’m the terrible daughter. i’m the problem. but this isn’t a temporary problem. i’m the problem clearly. that’s not temporary. that’s forever. so why not end it now? why wait? i could just end it tonight. no one would care. no one loves me. no one truly cares about me. mum works so much she doesn’t see me so she couldn’t truly miss me. my best friend doesn't even care about me. my dad probably wouldn’t know that i was gone. no one would care enough. no one does care enough for me to stay for them. why shouldn’t i just kill myself? what do i have to live for? i don’t see anyone who cares enough to even know anything’s wrong. sometimes no matter how hard we try, no matter how much we want it ... some stories just don’t have a happy ending.
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Author:
jessica.shelby (
Offline) - Published: December 20th, 2017 23:32
- Category: Sad
- Views: 23
Offline)
Comments2
This spoke deep to me. I am going through a tough time right now and this really hit me hard. I hope you know you aren't alone in feeling this way...I struggle with this feeling everyday and some more then others, but know that people are there for you. It may not be the happy ending you thought would happen but it will have a happy ending regardless if you see it or not. Stay strong!
I know that since this is coming from a stranger it may not mean much and I don't know who you are or what your situation is, but I can tell you that those people do care and they would miss you even if you don't think they would. Your mom, I'm sure she notices you and probably works really hard and would like to spend time with you but in this world, you need money to survive. If your friend makes you feel that way, I suggest either confronting them about it or getting a new friend because friends shouldn't make you feel that way. Trust me, for every low point in life there is going to be a high point and I can't tell you when, how, or what it's going to be but there will be one you just have to stay strong and keep fighting. So please don't end your life. I know we don't know each other, but I would be sad if you did.
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