Open fields,
Fog in the morning air,
All the animals stand
and stare.
Farmers work,
Building walls,
Keeping the animals in
their wooden stalls.
Not conscious,
Unaware,
Locked away the animals
Don't care.
No freedom,
No choices,
No one to hear
Their voices.
Freedom lurks,
On the rind,
It is something the animals
Must find.
Together,
But alone,
The animals still believe
They are home.
-
Author:
Jacob Bennett (
Offline) - Published: December 21st, 2017 00:28
- Comment from author about the poem: People don't think for themselves, but instead choose to live as animals in a herd.
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 20
Offline)
Comments3
Read this and enjoyed it then I read your comments and saw it in a different light - great work Jacob.
Im glad you could understand my meaning behind it. Thank you!!
Good write Jacob. Yes, the herd instinct is OK for animals. Yet in a way, spiritually speaking, we humans are all as 'sheep'.
Just preaching what I believe in. Thank you!!!
Hope I'm not too 'preachy'. I don't mean to be.
enjoyed your thought process, frankly i just started to publish on this site and it's nice to see some outside the box thinking. If i may offer one point of critism i dont believe you need to use too many articles In your poem for example "The animals still believe" would have worked just as well without the (THE) as in "Animals still believe" Or "Thier wooden stalls" perhaps just" Wooden stalls" or "locked away the animals" try it with "Locked away animals" Just some food for thought, again let me say I enjoyed reading your poem.
Dang you are absolutely right, reading it the way that you state would make the flow of the poem less choppy. Thank you, that was very insightful!
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