In my mind

In my head are a thousand thoughts 

Thoughts about not being good enough

being the ugly friend

holding everything in

and about giving up

but in my head are memories 

memories with my parents

with my friends

with my enemies

with my pets

but also with pain

in my head are emotions that I can’t comprehend

feelings of worthlessness

exclusion

untrustworthy 

emptiness

sadness

some happiness

but mostly loneliness 

but in my head are dreams

dreams where I stay awake forever

dreams where I die

and dreams where I fall down an endless hole 

my head is of full capacity

i can’t sleep some nights because I’m scared of a new day

you can try to help me but the truth is I can only

help myself,

and who knows when that’ll happen