This is our last chance to grieve
Dear Lord, I was only thirteen
The host of trepidation freshly forgot,
You coerced forgiveness from fester and rot
Glass eyes, glass eyes, they saw his deeds
I spit up ashes so the flame could breathe from my gut to my tongue
The seraph’s shriek, Oh! How it rung
When I was young you averted your gaze. Don’t peddle us antidote, We’re beyond being saved.
Don’t preach to me right from wrong,
Forgiveness was my mother’s song, But be mindful of the canaries’ last breath
We’ve only got so many prophets left
Did you forget it was you who left me?
Raw guttural growls and howls, bellowed on my knees
I wheeze, strangled by our umbilical cord, but
She’ll be safe, here on my back, so long as I mourn
-
Author:
Aislinn Wilson (
Offline) - Published: January 14th, 2018 01:45
- Comment from author about the poem: I wrote this to the tune of "Demon Host" by Timber Timbre. This is a poem that in short is an expression of anger towards God in the face of childhood trauma. I would really appreciate constructive criticism, but being that this is the first poem I've written in quite a while and that I'm just now getting in the habit of sharing my poetry I request that any comments come from a gentle place.
- Category: Sad
- Views: 47
- Users favorite of this poem: Noah
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Comments3
You must not be mad at God. I believe it is those who go through the most trials in the beginning are the ones that God really uses. Have patience. I know it sounds cliche, but God does have a plan for you.
As for your poem, It is very good, and very sincere. Just keep growing as a poet, and as a person. Keep writing.
David wrote multiple psalms expressing anger at God. I think there is a strong Biblical precedent for being mad at God that doesn't lessen one's faith or sour their journey.
I really appreciate your words though, thank you so much and many blessings to you.
Although not a Christian I still fully appreciate the trauma and sincerity of this work. I can't offer criticism as it already shows such great use of the language and natural ability towards construction. In fact I am quite jealous of your ability at such an early stage of your writing.
As for the future do keep that pen busy but try to chose subjects that extend your writings. In other words chose subjects from imagination rather than from personal experience .
A good poet writes from personal experience, a great poet writes from personal experience AND from imagination.
Thank you, I will hold onto what you say!
I agree with Michael, Aislinn! You do have quite a way with words. I am Catholic on paper only, but do have my own belief and the belief that everybody has a right to believe anything they want!
I agree with you that one can be mad with God, the same way being made with our parents or siblings does not diminish our love for them.
Very well written!
Thank you very much!
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