Been nearly 6 months since my doomsday and I don't know what to say.
Guilt weighs down on me like heavy weights.
Each breath a struggle
Each step,a fight not to crumble
And I look at you and ask
"Do you understand that pain?"
My mother used to tell me that anything was possible.
That I could be anything I wanted to be.
If I dreamed hard enough,that was who I was going to be
Her protection wrapped around me like a warm embrace
Her smile was the light in my nightlight
Her eye were windows to heaven
And her lullaby made the angels cry.
She kissed my scraped knees
Wiped away my tears
Chased away my nightmares
But she didn't tell me what was out there.
Been half a year since my life was destroyed.
Going to a school where the victims are ignored.
Innocence was gone the moment you walked through those doors
Sitting in a class room where reputation is everything
While I'm walking down halls of humility,with dreams of immunity.
In a country where the laws don't protect me.
Where my sex decided who I was before I knew who I was,
Where your color comes complete with a handbook
Telling you how to walk and how to talk
Will you succeed or will you not
Been 6 months since that day and I have so much to say.
Still can feel the anger I felt that day.
Condition so bad,smile replaced by an oxygen mask.
but she'd still have room for a cigarette or two in the afternoon.
Her mind was destroyed by her drugs.
Not much left of what was once called love.
Why should I dream when the one person who taught me to dream gave up
And though I'm filled with so much hate
Her words are etched into my brain as permanent as the rose tattooed on her waist
I wish I could make every I hate you a love you.
Every door slam a hug.
Every complaint a thank you.
Been 6 month since she died
Fed the nest but I don't know how to fly
Moms not here to tell me its alright
But I wish she was so I could ask her why.
Why is the world such an ugly place?
We build up invisible walls based on our looks,our gender,our flaws.
Obstacles that aren't really there at all.
Just adding another step to the stairs
Our dreams so close we could reach out and touch them
But we rather sit around and let them fade to nothing
The chains are broken
You just have to go
If dreams weren't meant to be dreams you wouldn't dream at all
I regret thinking I could find the same warmth and love in alcohol or drugs
Nothing can substitute a mother's embrace
And intoxication will never be as beautiful as her face
Because The truth is
The world is very ugly
The world is a cold,harsh,unforgiving place
It waits claws out and teeth bared in your face
But thats the thing,
It's hard at times
And we all struggle in some way,shape,or form.
But we can make it beautiful
So I look at you and ask,"Is it beautiful yet?"
-
Author:
Hendrix (Pseudonym) (
Offline) - Published: January 16th, 2018 10:37
- Comment from author about the poem: My mother died recently and I was asked to write a poetry slam for history class.This was six months after she died.Its one of most personal poems i\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'ve ever wrote.Love you mom.
- Category: Sad
- Views: 44
- Users favorite of this poem: Syd, pots-and-pans
Offline)
Comments5
This is fantastic, please keep writing
Great poem. Stay strong. I've been through it too a couple of years ago. Under similar circumstances too.
- Syd
Well written and expressed
WELCOME ROSIE ~ Thanks for your first Poem. It is well written in "free verse" and has a nice flow (rhythm). The contents is quite SAD on several levels. In essence it is a very poignant eulogy to your Mother who has been called home while you are still so so young !
We only have one Mother and no one loves me more than my Own Mum ! Initially you describe the intimacy of your Mum's Love for you ~ from your birth ~ now she has gone.
You also deny the LIE that "We are all born equal !" This is my experience too ~ it all depends Where & When you were born ~ your Gender and the Class ~ Color ~ Creed and Circumstances etc of Your BIRTH FAMILY !
You go on to describe how your Mum suffered and all the (small) regrets you have six months later. There are no easy answers to the questions you raise ~ BUT ~ You are YOUNG and you have your whole life in front of you ! You struggle and I struggle ~ but in our own way ~ because we are UNIQUE & SPECIAL we CAN MAKE OUR FUTURE BEAUTIFUL !
Every BLESSING ~ Yours BRIAN (UK)
Very 😎 cool , nice slam
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