Anorexia

And If I am to know you:

i am only to violate you

to destroy you inside. 

And if I am to know you:

i am to comb thinning hair

ignore the clumps in the shower

the greying, the paleness of

Crackling and drying skin. 

And if I am to know you:

i am to push away

anyone who cares

for saying “ i love you”

means

I love the feeling of loving you. 

And if I an to know you;

shove a tube in my throat

in my stomach

scare me

please. 

I need it. 

No, I don’t.