Disappointed

As young as i was,

I know what you were doing.

You might not know that i know.

With every look i watched you give,

I could witness the disappointment upon your face.

You knew i seen your expressions that's why you gave them.

You might not know this,

But your the reason i am the way i am,

And i hear you blame others but if only you knew.

As young as i was, 

Doctors appointments should've scared me because of shots,

But really i was scared of the expression on your face when the doctor told you my weight.

As young as i was,

I shouldn't of been so self conscious about my weight,

But you made me so scared to even go up a pound.

As young as i was,

Maybe i should've been smaller,

Maybe then i wouldn't of been bullied.

As young as i was,

People thought my biggest bully would be my older siblings.

Littler did you/they know it was you all along.

As young as i was,

I shouldn't of been scared of stepping on a scale,

But you made me that way.

As old as i am now,

I have never told you this,

Youd probably think I'm wrong.

As old as i am now,

Doctors appointments still scare me,

Because i think of the look you'll be giving me.

As young as i was,

You left a deep imprint in my mind,

Even though your the person i turn to the most.

You tell me I'm beautiful and perfect and shouldn't lose weight,

But how come when you look at my scale you only see a flaw,

A flaw if i lost i would be perfect.

As young as i was,

Why did you give those looks,

Why did i disappoint you so much.