Did not

Achanta



I didn't

You always said you love me.

I did say it back,

I always did.

So that I could manipulate myself

Into believing that I do love you.

Despite knowing deep that I don't.

 

Days and Nights,

I spent with you as much as I could.

I tried to feel your love.

I tried to gave it back.

 

But I just don't feel it.

The more I try to convince myself 

That I have the same feeling with you,

The more you said that you love me,

The more I recognize that I don't.

 

It just didn't work for me.

For you.

For us.

 

I want to end all of this.

But I don't know how.

 

Despite the fact that I don't love you

I still thinking about

How you will live

After I leave

 

Because you said that I'm your happiness.

Cheesy,I know.

Cringe? Maybe.

 

I won't live in a lie,

Yet I do live in it.

 

I coax myself that what I did is a white lie.

White lie isn't harmful,is it?

I just want to make him happy.

 

Perhaps,it leads the wrong way.

 

I'm sorry.

I didn't mean it.

I didn't mean to hurt you.

I didn't mean it everytime when I say 'I love you too'.

 

 

  • Author: Achanta (Offline Offline)
  • Published: February 7th, 2018 07:06
  • Category: Love
  • Views: 36
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Comments3

  • Lorna

    Love doesn't work "from the head" does it - has to be the heart even when sometimes that means a train wreck! This was an honest poem.

    • Achanta

      I agree with that.
      Pretty sure if it's not the heart who does the work,then it's nothing called love,right?

      Anddd thank you 😁

    • Tony36

      Well written and expressed

      • Achanta

        Thank you 😁

        • Tony36

          Welcome

        • dusk arising

          Sometimes its not easy to love the one we love and if we've never experienced love and loss i guess it could be hard to know whether your actually in love. But the acid test is how you feel when you are apart. At those times do you feel freedom or do you look forward to times together? Therein lies the truth for you.
          Really well written piece and thought provoking.A really good read.

          • Achanta

            Yes,loving someone is hard indeed.
            I feel both,so fucked up isn't it?

            Thank you 😁

            • dusk arising

              Then i'd say u are in love but maybe disappointed because its not the big fireworks and roses affair that love is supposed to be.
              Love changes and it changes us too. It teaches us though every lesson is not a blissful experience. Maybe sticking together through a period of uncertainty is actually strengthening your love bond. Make sense?-- or am i totally off the mark?

              • 2 more comments



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