When i felt sadness, i felt happiness sometimes too. Now i took these tablets i feel numb the whole way through,
I am just organs working with a blank mind, i am not fine.. i am zombified.
Maybe i was addicted to the darkness that followed me around, even my favorite songs have no meaning.. its just sound.
My head hurts from frowning trying to recover my thoughts.
They used to flow like a river, but now are frozen like a lake.
Maybe one day this cycle of sadness or numbing will break


  • Maggie Maloney

    I keep re-reading this. You are saying so much here...thank you for sharing this.

  • rrivera138

    You share a lot in these poems. This kind of poetry is the most valid. It is also a little hard to read as someone who has self-medicated before; I can relate rather deeply to this. Keep writing. I'm definitely a fan. 👍🏼

  • FredPeyer

    There is a contradiction here, Billie-Jade. Nobody with a 'blank mind' or 'trying to recover her thoughts' can write as good as you do! Hope the writing will help you to fill that blank canvas of your mind. :-)

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