My heart, my soul

Jessica Tawney

I can't live without you
But you tore my heart in two
I have never felt so blue.
I pray that God will give me a sign or clue
On how to get back to you.
I just can't walk away from you and become someone new
Especially after everything we've been through
If you would try to see things from my point of view
You might actually agree with me too.
I wish I would have known
That your love for me was outgrown.
But I hope you know
That my love for you will always grow.
You never should have said hello
Because your feelings for me have changed now, and your answer to me is hell no!
You used to want and need me just a few years ago.
But no matter what, you're still my soulmate, and I will never let go. When you left me this time, I sunk into a new all time low.
I know we don't always get along
And some days just seem to go all wrong.
This time we can lean on each other and stay strong.
I'm certain that being with you is where I belong.
If you would just give me another chance you'd see
There is a deeper side to me
That you've never seen.
I try to treat everyone equally and not be mean.
But a long time ago, when I was upset, I became obscene
And made a scene.
I cannot live without nicotine and caffeine
And can't get motivated to get out of bed unless I have some methamphetamine.
Not everything in life is what it seems to be.
I wish I could have forseen
The heartbreak that will probably kill me.
As a lay in bed
I realize I'm in over my head.
I can't look forward to what's ahead Because all I think about is what he said
And how I'd just rather be dead.
I cannot hold my emotions inside
And can't see the point of being alive
But most people want to survive.
Lately my mind has been preoccupied
With thoughts of suicide.
My head feels like it's gonna explode.
My brain is definitely on overload.
If I don't calm down soon, I might have an episode.
The pain I feel, when you're not here, is too much.
I miss your touch.
Without you here, I can't sleep or eat.
Even one simple task is hard to complete.
My life without you is incomplete.
My bedroom is so bare
When you're not there.
I always see something that reminds me of you everywhere.
I'm filled with so much despair
But I doubt you would even care. All of this is too much for anyone.
I have a feeling my agony has just begun.
I just wish I were high and numb.
But I know that's not a good way to overcome
These horrible feelings in my cerebrum.
What's wrong with giving into my addiction and sin?
I just gotta be careful that it won't consume me again.
Now is not the right time for me to try and quit
When my life has been going to shit.

  • Author: Jessica Tawney (Pseudonym) (Offline Offline)
  • Published: February 12th, 2018 18:42
  • Category: Unclassified
  • Views: 28
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Comments +

Comments2

  • BRIAN & ANGELA

    WELCOME JESSICA ~ Thanks for your first and very emotive & personal POEM ! Those of us ~ who have LOVED & LOST (more than once !) can emphasise and the experience is ALL that you say it is ~ and in some ways it is worse than death because most of us (for a plethora of reasons) have to go on LIVING ! I learned something from every failed love affair and my MANTRA (which is easier for a Man ?) is "Better to have Loved & Lost ~ than never to have Loved at all !" Thinking of you ~ Yours BRIAN (UK)

  • Noah Malice

    Hi. First of all, if your life really is going to shit, I do recommend trying to get help for your addictions, as they're likely to be determining factors for something like that.
    Secondly, I recognize that this poem is more of an emotional spillage than poetry, but there is still lots of room for improvement. Really quickly, it's apparent that there is no solid structure to this, which makes it difficult to culminate the attention required to read and understand it. There's no rhythm from line to line, which some lines short and others long in a whimsical fashion, there's no rhyme scheme other than A times x with x being a whimsical number, and a lot of the rhymes seem forced, which makes a lot of the diction unnecessary, repetitive, and thus boring.
    I recommend cutting all unnecessary words, cutting your poem into stanzas of 4 to 6 lines each, trying your best not to say anything twice unless you really really want to emphasize something, and come up with a more captivating rhyme scheme. Finally, don't depend on a rhyme to make your poem "good." A rhyme should service the structure, and a poem without rhyme but with dependable good structure can still be a good poem. A poem with a flimsy, whimsical structure with obviously forced rhymes is not good.
    Just keep at it and you're on the road to something golden, I believe in you!



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