From Yellow to Grey

Bethany_megan

From yellow to grey
Three weeks long ago I saw,
The skin.
It radiated a yellow tint that stained like ink.
It was very much so there.
Yet I did not stare,
as my grandad moved and was soothed in the very depths of his Inners.
He was there. And so was I.
Yet now he drifts.
Like a tide I see him move to the front of those squared off specticals back to the seat sitting in the far corner chair.
Across the room he waits
For the pain to be quant
He paused. With patience he presents as it intertwines through his bone marrow.
his patience now narrow.
Im sorry.
I itch and squirm wanting to absorb the Inners ink seeping futher.
My face a faucet refusing to budge.
It's okay they say.
Now like a drunk youth
His face now shrunk
Mixing up names like ingriedients in a cake.
But no sweetness. All is sour and tasteless like a recipe gone wrong all is wrong nothing is right nothing is as it should be.
The bruises layered over like a filter on ploariod pulsate and unnaturally form from pin pricking metal spikes.
Piercing his outer.
Ripping up his Inners.
Now all is polluted. The oceans dried to a crisp.
The shift is now perminent as that yellow turns grey.
The bruises were not successful they said.
Yet the yellow will fade so don't be afraid that's one thing out of the way.
Because that's what breaks me.
Of course.
Cancer. What are you.
I have to go.
And this could be the last.
And if it is.
Know this.
Your pain cannot be felt through my vains I ache to take all that makes you shake at night you lay awake. I want to take it.
But I can't.
Not just this but I can't miss your mind at this thought of sleep being a never ending beast .
Please don't be scared.
Of course i wanted you to see and be right there for however long you could be.
And now I question all as I see you slowly shut down the once proud, man I've known you to be since I could breath
You've been there.
Supporting me away from your chair.
Now you cannot leave alone.
That's okay.
I understand
Know that no one knows.
Know that time is just numbers.
Know that when you're ready.
So is the universe.
And so it will be with you.
Till the very end
Watching and holding your hand

The universe.
Watches and moves.
With you grandad.
And it's okay
You're good.
You're kind.
You're brave.
You're going.
You're going.
You can go grandad.
You can go.


  • Author: Bethany_megan (Offline Offline)
  • Published: February 16th, 2018 09:01
  • Comment from author about the poem: This poem is very personal and has been one of the stepping stones for me to find closure in a difficult time. Would love to hear feedback
  • Category: Unclassified
  • Views: 16
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Comments2

  • myself and me

    well penned. Welcome to this site.

  • BRIAN & ANGELA

    WELCOME BETHANY ~ Thanks for your first POEM ~ very moving ! I have just come back from our local CANCER WARD ~ with a Friend (71) who is attending for PROSTRATE CANCER (six weeks !) HE is OK and we are praying it will be removed (radiotherapy) before it spreads ! I have several Friends and Family who are going through what your Granddad (and You) are experiencing (Lung Cancer etc) so I can ! Praying for your and your Granddad ~ Yours BRIAN



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