The river of emotions

I don’t know what to do

its taken over me.

It’s vast and stretches as far as the eye can see

it comes in waves

but never in a daze.

It’s always seen and always known,

but it can never, ever, ever be shown.

I have to hide or go, i can’t be seen.

I can never show my true self, my true me 

it’s too ugly, horrific 

would shatter mirrors with its gaze,

so far from the latest craze.

How I long to be able to wear what the cool girls do,

the short skirts, cropped shirts, even the shoes.

I have to run and lock the door and never come out,

only when I’m done and with caution no doubt,

I feel so ugly and different that I can’t be seen,

but i’m stuck like this now,

my true self, my true me.