They Need Me

Once again, a fake smile is in order

And as I plaster one on my face

A small feeling sits in the back of my mind

And all throughout the day it haunts me

And taunts me

It wants me to give in and cry

Admittedly, so do I

But I don’t

Because people need me

They need me for support

They need me for a smile

They need me for a laugh

They need me to be strong

So I push my troubles aside

To make room for theirs

And I continue to be there for them

But is anyone seeing through my mask?

Does anyone notice when I am truly hurting

When I apparently hide it so well?

I hate this feeling

This empty, lonely feeling

This unavoidable feeling

This inevitable feeling

That will drag me back into the darkness

And leave me there

Enveloped in shadows

With an overwhelming feeling of everything and nothing

I wish I didn’t feel like this

I don’t get work done

I don’t get tasks done

I’m not genuinely happy

I want to be

They need me

For help

For an answer to their cry

For someone to talk to

For someone to make them feel less lonely

I enjoy helping them and making them feel better

But sometimes the person that everyone leans on

Is the person who needs a shoulder to cry on