They Need Me

Once again, a fake smile is in order

 

And as I plaster one on my face

 

A small feeling sits in the back of my mind

 

And all throughout the day it haunts me

 

And taunts me

 

It wants me to give in and cry

 

Admittedly, so do I

 

But I don’t

 

Because people need me

 

They need me for support

 

They need me for a smile

 

They need me for a laugh

 

They need me to be strong

 

So I push my troubles aside

 

To make room for theirs

 

And I continue to be there for them

 

But is anyone seeing through my mask?

 

Does anyone notice when I am truly hurting

 

When I apparently hide it so well?

 

I hate this feeling

 

This empty, lonely feeling

 

This unavoidable feeling

 

This inevitable feeling

 

That will drag me back into the darkness

 

And leave me there

 

Enveloped in shadows

 

With an overwhelming feeling of everything and nothing

 

I wish I didn’t feel like this

 

I don’t get work done

 

I don’t get tasks done

 

I’m not genuinely happy

 

I want to be

 

They need me

 

For help

 

For an answer to their cry

 

For someone to talk to

 

For someone to make them feel less lonely

 

I enjoy helping them and making them feel better

 

But sometimes the person that everyone leans on

 

Is the person who needs a shoulder to cry on