emotionless

You hate me and i don't care

you love me and i don't think that's fair.

I tried my best but i know that i will

never be part of the show.

I know in my heart that i will never make it.

I want to be happy but i know i dont deserve it.

Im emotionless but you might define as sad.

Im walking down the cave. No light. All the same.

I am just trying to stop the tears from falling..

So instead i end up smiling.

I listen to music to help me get through the day.

I listen because the beat is good but then i hear the lyrics.

The lyrics describe me to a degree.

Smiling use to be effortlessly i miss those days.

Friends use to not be fake. what happened then?

And everyday i say the same

"im tired" Yet that's not it.

Im breaking not healing. I think

Nobody can help me.

Im not living im surviving.

And i know that i say goodbye

Way to many times but soon it will be real.

A little hope is inside that is stuck there

Not wanting to leave that is keeping me

Here.

Why is my heart beating fast when nothing

Is happening?

Yes i know if i stop touching this wound

It will heal but i dont think thats the case.

Im already below the basement and

trying to get out there before the walls break

And i am below more than i already am.

I hurt and i cry but you can't see because

It's hidden behind a smile.

My voice obviously is not loud

Because nobody hears,

And im feeling hurt.