Days are warm
Kids play
Plants blossom
Nights are cold
Rain visits often
Cicada echo from outside
Thoughts become drown out
Monsters linger
Lighting strikes
Thunder cracks
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Author:
artsysunflower (
Offline) - Published: March 3rd, 2018 01:49
- Comment from author about the poem: I am a beginner and I would like to receive helpful criteria because I want to improve.
- Category: Sad
- Views: 14
Offline)
Comments2
hello i like this , although perhaps more could be added to this poem, maybe a simile , such as '' kids play like they have no tomorrow'' or '' kids play like ...'' maybe you could add in more similes or bring in more metaphors, maybe expanding the poem a little bit more ..give it more feeling maybe.
WELCOME SUNFLOWER ~ Thanks for your First Poem ! It is a real poem ~ it has Structure & Substance ! Love the shape and terseness of the lines ! Spring comes in with pace (the UK is still under 15 inches of SNOW !) but tomorrow will reveal ~ Spring cleaning ~ flowers ~ bunnies ~ chicks ~ lambs ~ buds ~ blossom ~ love ~ bursting out ~ all over ! Your excellent "free verse" poem mentions these things ~ Spring is dynamic. The SEASONS inspire Poets and in this ODE you have captured the essence & dynamism of SPRING ! Well done more please ! Yours BRIAN (UK) Please check my Poems ~ Thanks B.
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