Unrequited Adoration

No one knows how much

I truly adore you

No one knows how much your voice

Your smile

Your laugh

Your presence

And the fact that you consider me a friend

Mean to me

 

No one understands that

The moment I first laid my eyes on you

I knew you were everything

I’ve ever wanted

In a friend

In a partner

In a person

In anyone that I’ll ever know

 

And yet

I wish there was more

I want to put the past behind us

I need to forget those toxic people

Who thought they could corrupt us

And that no, you don’t still like her

You just tolerate her

Like you would with anybody you don’t like

 

Because you’re nice

And you’re able to do that

And I want to be like that

But I can’t

Because you’re you

And I’m me

And we’re two different people

With the same mentality

 

Your eyes are pools of dark chocolate

That reflect intelligence

I don’t mind that you sing a lot

Because so do I

And your voice

Whether you talk or sing

Is the most amazing sound in the world

Not just to others, but to me

 

You have the best grades out of anyone I know

Your teachers compliment you on your work

You’re already taking college courses

And I’m the complete opposite

My grades are low and my work is hardly noteworthy

I do just enough work to get by

You’re so damn successful

And I’m nothing

 

I wish you knew

How much I enjoy your existence

And that since I first talked to you

I wanted to be your best friend

Because you’re so great

And so talented

And so amazing

And so funny

 

You sing

You act

You’re smart

You’re kind

And yet you hide so much from the world

Things that I know you know I know

And I just haven’t brought it up

Because that bridge is broken

 

And if I bring it up I’ll upset you

And if I upset you I’ll feel bad

And if I feel bad I’ll stop talking to you

And if I stop talking to you I’ll be sad

And if I’m sad I have to lie to everyone around me about why I’m sad

And if I lie I’ll be caught

And if I’m caught you won’t be there again to relate

Because I’ll have cut off communication and I won’t want to bring it up

 

People say you’re arrogant

People say you’re too nice to be angry

But when you are angry, it’s a storm

And I know that

But that’s why I try not to make you angry

And I don’t think you’re arrogant

I lied to people when I said that

I really think you’re wonderful

 

So please just recognize that I feel awkward asking for your new email

And that I’m sorry I only talk to you about one thing

But that’s something we have in common

And I love having something to talk about with you

And please just notice my appreciation

And how much I’ll miss you when you’re gone

And that I’ll think of you everyday

And miss you a whole lot more

 

And if you ever come back

Just remember me

And please visit

Or invite me to a get together

Because even though

I am one in many friends

I’ve known you for five years

And loved you just as long