Lost Within Endless Thought

I can't keep going on this way.
Feeling as if I'm such a fuck up.
Nothing I do is right
All I do is make people suffer
I'm sorry for all I've done
For all I didn't do
I deserve nothing in life
All I am is pain...

Giver of sadness, pain, and regret

I seep unrelenting destruction hard to forget

All I needed was to be wanted and loved

But all I am became tattered and shoved

Here on the ledge do I stand on the edge

Of all the pain that has corroded and sledged

Pounding my psyche unto no end

It hurts, It swells, inside me it grows

This unrelenting sadness, nobody knows

I hide how I feel though I know not to

It's better to talk, but I don't want to

They say life gets better, but what's the point?

To live in the ways that others have set before us?

Money, TVs, all the cool toys.

Buy now! Buy now! For what?! Controll...

If you buy all these things, it'll cure ur sadness!

For all you need is to take part in our madness!

Fuck you all for all your schemes

Embezzling money to buy more things

You people make me sick

But what's it matter?

No one cares, while they just get fatter

But here I am stagnant, and still pondering

Do I take flight?

Or let them all drown me, pull me and fight

To fly is to be free

To stay grounded,no glee

All life choices are your own

Or are they? I've never known

I've tried and tried but just can't do it

What's next that will push me on through it?

The threshold of freedom of all life's plights.

Good days, bad days, and all of the fights

I was there for my friends 

I was there for you

I was there through and through

But what do I receive for my kindness?

A knife in my back shoved... shoved into.

They have changed, but we all do you say,

For we all turn a page.

But they're only there, when they set the stage.

My daughter doesn't know me, my dad is enraged

In sadness and anger he drinks his own grave

You're all entirely selfish with a facade of kindness

You know nothing of what all's behind this

I'm done, I'm through. With this life of grey

To the depths of darkness do I now stray

Weary and alone now will I travel

Through this threshold of knives and unholy gravel

The shards of steel, rip through my flesh

As the gravel fills, pushing and grinding

This new feeling that I am now finding

Devouring my body

Cold as stone

My soul still trapped

I'll always be alone.