Just-A-Dude

Wish

I wish I could feel just a mote of success

I wish I could build dreams from my beautiful mess

I wish I could lift up this cold stone of shame

I wish they would smile when someone utters my name

 

I wish I could fix all the heartache I've  caused

I wish I could move forward but I'm permanently paused

I wish I could walk in step with my ever passing life

I wish I could catch up like a cat catches mice

 

I wish I needn't make wishes to make my life feel just great

I wish I needn't worry about how I'll fill my dinner plate

I wish I was someone, anyone but me

But I am so stop wishing for the dream fantasy

Comments3

  • sylviasearcher

    I can connect with the sentiment and with that notion of healing through poetry

    • Just-A-Dude

      Thanks man, it's good to know at least someone gets it. I can't tell you the amount of poetry I've written. Some are good, some are bad and some are just terrible but I just wanted somewhere where I could archive my ramblings as they always end up lost, thrown, hoovered, mauled by pets... you get the idea. I definitely find the process therapeutic except they always end up dark or depressing and sound like I'm a complete mess but I assure you I'm not all that gloomy irl. I get it down on paper and I'm done, I'd recommend it to anyone. Cheers

      • sylviasearcher

        I'm sure I'm not the only one who gets it...

        I find it so much easier to write about my despair than to write of my joy... And I do feel joy sometimes...

        Like when I hear birdsong or see little buds appearing on the trees.

        I am a novice at writing too. I don't knoe what it should look and sound like... I just know how it feels.

        Keep writing!

      • Just-A-Dude

        Haha, I totally get you when you say you have no idea how it's supposed to look or anything. I am in the exact same boat. I've no clue about prose or know any of the rules. Like you I just like to write and if it sounds right to me then it is. Thanks again and you keep writing too!

      • Bibbeck

        You are certainly recovering well with being confident enough to express yourself and share the thoughts. You're right to stop wishing as the moment has gone and you can't change what's past, but change the future for better.

        Knowing the 'formal structure' of poetry could cause restriction on your expression. Similar to you, I always said it was better I hit the paper with a pen rather than anything/ anyone else; it got me through personal angst aged 13-21.

        Keep expressing yourself 'Dude'!

        • Just-A-Dude

          Thank you for your kind words and yes I am recovering pretty well now. It's taken literally years to get to this point where I feel secure enough to make some of these public as they are deeply personal to me and are reflections of me and my feels.

          I note the critique of the actual poem is lacking from each person to comment but instead focus on the feeling of the work instead lol I posted for a few reasons one of which is to improve so I don't mind being roasted as long as it's useful and not just cruel, I really could use any tips.

          Thanks again.

          • Bibbeck

            My focus on the feeling of the work is intended as compliment on the work itself. It conveys well where you're coming from even without reading your Introduction Comment. The fact that it serves this purpose is praise for the writing.

            I'm an honest enough person that if I read it and it sucked, then I'd say, or otherwise wouldn't waste efforts commenting/ praising. ;-)

            Keep it up.

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