Breathe

I have forgotten how to breathe without your hands to steady me.

A sharp inhalation of pain is all that brings me back to earth.

My brain has short-circuited in the haze of suicidal brain waves.

Every impulse cries out for another scar to brand my flesh;

Another outward reminder of the grooves you tore into my soul.

My own voice is drowned in the barrage of “crucify me” screams.

My mind held at gunpoint by the demon I created of myself.

Trapped in the roll of executioner drums pounding a deathly beat:

In, out

Up, down

Like my chest

Rise and fall.

You walked in, then out

I was up, then down

My lungs rise,

But forget to fall

I’m still holding my breath

Waiting for someone to stay.

I couldn’t cut out the pain in my veins,

The blood doesn’t flow anymore

Through my frozen heart.

I couldn’t out run the demon inside my brain

I can’t escape what my mind

Has become.

So I’ll breathe in, out

In, out

Breathe in, out

Please breathe in, out

In…