Stuck

 

I can't get out of bed and I don't know why

my mind is telling me to move but my body is laid flat out

Like my soul is trapped in a prison of this body I am forced to call mine

each hour

each minute

each second

I can't explain my rage

I can't explain my emptiness

The feeling of I need to search for something

WHAT?!

I feel like my soul is scratching for a way out and it can't

I feel like I am wasting time

I am wasting another minute of my life again

waiting

hoping

searching

WHAT?!

I am screaming in my mind and can't understand the words

I am forcing myself to carry on when I can't

I am exhausted without any reasoning

I am failing with no cause 

except me

I am drowing and on fire with these nonverbal thoughts screaming at me

like I am some prisoner in a circus that is known as my body

I hear the laughing of others at the joke I am

I hear the breathing of my daughter asleep next to me that I know I don't deserve to hear

My soul is a prisoner in my body and I am screaming help but no one hears

I don't know why