Omitted Sex toy

Clean up after myself
When you're finished
It's not using if you're nothing
Caressing gently
If you're ok with it
Wanting more than a few handfuls
Of soft curls
Rubbing skin
I promised I couldn't give in
Dreaming it's more
 than a few fingers that'll fit
But your whole heart
In my tiny black
space in my chest
Empty and void
 like the lies I made
And I can't sanitize
 myself any longer
Curse words uttered
Breathing heavily
Secret "lovers"
 but not laughter
Promise to tell me
 if you want to stop
I wanted the world empty
With just you and me in it
Exchanging kisses
Under torn blankets
As the stars whispered dirty things