The water was freezing to the bone,
Under the tub was deadly and I was alone.
The sound of life above was muffled,
I rubbed my reddening eyes, made my floating hair ruffled.
It felt so soft under the watery substance,
My mind was screeching with utter reluctance.
I felt lonely yet calm by the tub’s hard floor,
I could feel the breath at death’s own door.
My lungs were giving out the sweet, beautiful air,
Yet my heart was screaming with no fucking care.
I pushed on, hearing nothing but the water,
My body soon started to become less and less hotter.
My eyes burned in a sharp jolting pain,
I was forcing my self under the water as if there was a chain.
Oxygen was scarce and I felt the need to breathe,
But I had to continue! I had to, I couldn’t leave!!
The water flooded into my mouth,
I coughed and coughed, things were going south.
My nostrils flared and burned like a bitch,
This was perfect! There was no hitch!
I watched my hands frolic, slowly moving with grace,
I felt my skin losing colour on my face.
My hair was floated like Medusa with snakes,
My life was slowly fading, there were no brakes.
I felt the urge to inhale air,
This was too much for me to bare!
I threw my arms up in defeat,
Today, death was something I couldn’t meet.
My head bobbed out of the tub,
I gave my now crimson eyes a rub.
I heaved for air, the wet tears streaming down my cheeks,
This was such a fail even though I planned for weeks.
I curl up listening to my own panting,
I screamed and screamed and continued ranting!
Eventually I got back my sanity,
But ended up losing some humanity.
I watched the bathtub drain the soap,
I lost my chance to die; lost all hope.
I grabbed my towel and wrapped my body up,
That was when I decided that enough was enough.


  • Anonamus

    TheSeaChild, I loved this piece, it is so captivating all the way through, I love how you transformed your trauma into art. if you ever need to talk please message me. But this poem is fantastic.

  • onepauly

    sometimes we are so much in pain, suicide is the only way out.
    my sister-in-law took a small boat to the center of a pond and slipped over the side. she had pain in her abdomen. described it like a tooth ache. she drowned herself. if the pain was like she described, I might do the same thing. no one deserves physical pain. sometimes its unimagineable . and we the living, don't want to imagine it. while we bury our heads, the person is still in powerful pain. we don't want to think about it. great poem by the way.

  • onepauly


    I can definitely relate to this. Very well written.

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