A letter to my dream never brought to fruition

Dreams 

I'm sorry for all the lies and schemes
For keeping you just a dream
It's you I worship and carry
But deep down I hold doubt and worries

I self medicate
With dreams of success
To keep my daily view
Faded in a mist of
Altered reality

Why these dreams
Call me
I do not know

Fearful of death with out success
I live oppressed in the
Lust of future success

View so bright that I lose my sight
Hopes and dreams
Fill my time
Blinding me from reality

At home in my dreams
Lost in reality
I ignore signs of passing time

Drunk from the pleasure
Developed in my mind
Making wrong choices
All the time

Never grounded in reality
Soon life will rob me of
My dreams
Leave me with a
Awfully earned reality

The result from my lack of action
Is starting to show

I spent all my time
In a catalog of fabricated lies
Used to keep me numb from the truth
"It's only a matter of time"
or
"I'll do it next time"
Classics in
My book of lies

Life slaps back my
Sense of reality

Time has passed
Its to late

Old age has struck
With it comes repent

Reality is here
And
Death calls

Should I stay?
Should I leave?

Whispers of regret
Taunt me with shame

You were born with health
In a time of powerful tools
You were given a task

You choose to run away
Instead of towards the pain
Where growth is made

You failed the test of life now
YOU WILL PAY

Instead of building life
And paying a daily price

You choose to live in comfort
Where time is spent
And never repaid

You owe life
To reality
And here comes
Death to collect

My life was spent in a dream that was never felt or seen
The closes I got
Was some pixels on a screen
Scared of the climb
I jump to my death
This is where I will continue
To rest

To all the dreams that lay in graves
Im sorry I made
The same mistake