Who?

Confess

Now that I have to move,

Why things between you and I blossoms beautifully like a sakura?

 

Why now?

 

Our moment was short and sweet.

I remember,

The way your touch lingered a bit longer than usual,

The way you nuzzled your cheek into my palm,

The way you snuggle into my arm.

 

You know what?

I really want to hug you

Since when? 

Oh honey,don't even ask me. 

It's embarassing to admit that,

I've been wanting that since I knew you.

 

So I decided to fuck it.

I don't care,

I want it,and now I got the chance to do so.

 

Yeah it was just an impulse,

When I hugged you.

When I put my head on your shoulder.

 

I felt really happy that night.

I kept thinking about our moment

Like a teenage girl in love.

 

Therefore,

I didn't expect such event will happen in front of my eyes.

You got intimate with another girl.

 

Last Night

You snuggled your body to mine,

Silently asking for a hug.

Then I hugged you,feeling as content as I ever feel on my lifespan.

Because now,I got you on my arms.

 

This afternoon,

You gave a piggy-back ride to this certain girl.

You let her touch you like I did.

 

I feel mad,

I feel sad,

I feel jealous.

I was frantic as I was panicked that the rage I tried to surpress

Will showed up clearly,

As clearly as the brightness of the Sun

That lighten up the world 

And make everything seen.

 

I knew you were looking at me when you did that.

I knew. 

 

It's too hurtful for me to see that,

So I looked at my phone,

Acting like I see nothing.

 

I got up,and decided to do some cycling,

Rather than sit and drowning on a ball of rage and jealousy.

 

He's not officialy mine,afterall.

 

The next day 

We went on a camp.

We met for a good amount,doesn't we?

And you got all cute and blushy 

When I said "Sweetie,I don't want the snacks. I came here because I want you." 

 

But when the night came,

You let her feed you

The food that I cooked earlier.

"It's great," you said,to her.

Not to me.

 

What is it all about?

Push and pull?

A game where you shall give the same amount of everything

Among two person?

 

Is that it?

Is this just a game?

 

My heart says that it's not.

But what can I do? 

The fact that you won't let me pet your head when she's around is annoying me.

The fact that you're in some way closer with her is annoying me.

I feel annoyed when you're with her.

Again,

What can I do?

 

What is it all about?

Does this feeling called love?

A feeling where you

Being protective towards them

Wanting to cuddle all day long

A certain degree of longing when you aren't around

Looking forward for being together

 

Are those love?

Or just a familiarity?

 

Are those love?

Or just feeling safe?

 

But to think of it,

Maybe I've never really got a chance.

To be with you.

To be yours.

To be your home.

 

Our religion is different.

It's stupid and narrow minded,

That this is the reason why I can't be with you.

It's ridiculous.

I hate this.

 

I'm ready to go though.

Ready to leave.

 

I don't know what will happen though,

Are you gonna kiss me?

Are you gonna miss me?

Are you gonna cry?

I don't know. 

 

Do I even matter for you?

 

What you sees me as?