ME

It’s so easy to get lost in my mind

I can’t stop searching even when there’s nothing to find

I feel like I should do what I must

But I don’t really know who to trust

I thought the voices would disappear

Yet when they do, I seem to lose everything I hold dear

My fears and insecurities float to the top

The screaming in my head won’t stop

My feelings are making me sink

And I seem to go deeper every time I think

Why is everyone so cruel

Am I really nothing more than a broken tool

I wish there was more I could do

Maye if I told them what I was going through

Every night I wake from a nightmare

I wake and feel someone’s stare

Maybe it’s nothing more than a dream

Maybe it’s more than what it may seem

Things I wish to forget now haunt me

I want to forget every bad thing I see

I felt fear in my blood

But I knew it had to be done

I’d make the bathroom flood

And it wouldn’t be fun

So I took the blade

And I cut deep

Making scars that wouldn’t fade

I waited to fall asleep

In those moments I heard a scream and a yell

I remember thinking I’d reached hell

I could hear the banging on the door

I could hear the panic as the blood covered the floor

I remember feeling light

I remember wanting to fight

It was my choice, I couldn’t take it back

And at the time it was a well-known fact

I remember changing my mind

Feeling so lost and having nothing to find

My mom was mine

And my death would be hard for her to define

I wasn’t falling asleep, yet I felt light

I’d given up my strength and stopped the fight

I wondered why as I began to cry

Was I so bad that not even death wanted me?

I guess I was so blind that I couldn’t see

I’ll never be more than I can be