What I mean when I say I can’t keep compromising

I mean

I can't keep accepting into my life

People

and

Experiences

That I actually don’t want anything to do with

Im done

Giving up my own will

For the gratification of others

I can no longer stand by

And look through the windows of my experiences

Trying to touch a life I can’t feel

I can't do it like the rest of them can

I can’t feign joy under the light of the computer screen

At the desk job that I hate

Cubicles crushing dreams

And corporations creating monsters

With minds fixated on futures that might never come

My life is destroyed

Because each time I found a piece of it broken

I thought the only way to fix it

Would be the way the world told me how

But for some reason having

Money friends family or health

Still left me spiralling because

As my value for others  grew

I threw away the parts of myself

I didn't think they  wouldn't like

So here I am

Slowly picking out pieces of old selves

From that worldly machine

And seeing if there is now anywhere in my existence

They might still fit

I don't know

If I'm the same person I was before

But I know I'm starting

Beginning again with a mind

Fixated only on my own happiness

My own joy

And I hope it's selfish

I hope it brings out something in me that the world has never seen

Something the ones I valued most hate

So I can stand in solidarity

With my alienated alliance and

Grow

Grow into that strong happy stranger

I know I was meant to be

I will no longer compromise

My happiness to the will of others