White Door

Have you ever wondered what is behind this white door?

Yes, the one that was just whitewashed yesterday

Shadowy thoughts have led me to this question

In restless confusion, I have struggled to find the answer

I think especially in my dreams

Even now, I often walk down multiple passages in my memory

Always trying in aching, broken steps to come back

Perhaps reach for something that would lead me to the door… my white door

You see, I don’t really understand what you are trying to tell me

We seem to be separated by an impenetrable wall

Yes, and like you, I always wondered what gives rise to misunderstanding

Miscommunication is… was… will… always be there

And perhaps we should just accept the role of the clown in yesterday’s circus

Or maybe we can play the clown just for today

Yes, I think I am ready to perform… just give me the cue

I have reflected your smile in my eyes for too long, it seems

I even think I have forgotten how to smile

You know, like children do…

But I can play the clown for one more day…

If you could only tell me what is behind that white door

You see, there is no need to look for a complicated answer to a simple question

It seems that all I need is to see the angel’s wing behind your back

To hear the beat of your warm aching heart…

No more nightmares…. I don’t want to see them anymore…

I want to see your laughing eyes and hear you sing

Yes, just for today, I want to hear your heart sing like a lark

I want to feel like a child again… blissfully happy and completely free

Just for today…

I want to watch the sunset and observe how the shadows fall

No more pain, no more fear and no more misunderstanding

You understand everything I just told you

Please let me know that I am not dreaming

I have always believed that it must be possible to live for just one day

Without wondering, doubting, convincing each other

Yes, and you d on’t need to tell me that I am wrong…

I will know… just let me rest for a moment under the heavenly canopy

I know you will say that life goes on no matter what you do

I know… but I believe that we can direct the hand of fate

We should try to think again simply and beautifully like children do

After all, nothing is impossible for angels…

Perhaps, we can also become like angels

You will help me open my eyes and I will see

The outlines of the graying wings behind your back

Maybe you don’t believe me?

No, I am perfectly serious

If you want me to wear a mask, I will

The clown in me will only smile in all earnestness…

Yes, you can laugh… laugh as freely as you want

I won’t take offense… only don’t tell me that golden dreams can’t come true

Because, without a doubt, I know that the white door will open

I am certain of it just like I know that your angel’s wings are white like clouds

Life is like a tragicomedy sometimes, you know…

Even if I’m not waiting for Godot…

I’m not waiting at all…

I am trying to live in my own way, you know

But please don’t tell me that the clown in me is a hopeless fool

I haven’t lost faith in him… yet…

I can get lost in those cartoon jungles

The muffled pain will recede when my white door creaks

No more walls… but my thoughts are still tangled

In confusion, I reach for my clown’s mask

Yes, I can wear it for today,

And yet, for all your doubts, and some of mine

I think that just for this lovely day

My angel white door has opened… do you mind?