My Scars

its strange how my brain has started to forget the things that have scarred me the most.

all i have to do is think about a time and its almost like im choosing which memories to forget..

like im putting it in the back of my head...

but the thing is im slowly forgetting your body each day that goes by..

and each time i think about our time in the back of your jeep..

it seems like it was all a dream like it never happened.

i woke up sunday morning and something didnt feel right.

i havent felt like myself in the past week.

ive been struggling with my faith and this one song "lovely" by billie eilish ft. khalid is pulling out every scar inside me.

its strange how my brain has started to forget the things that have scarred me the most...

but what about the things i never want to forget?

why are those things slowly slipping my mind?

is it because those good memories are associated with a tragedy?

or do they never fade?

will that one day come that makes that little something make me remember everything?

im slowly forgetting the worst and quickly forgetting the best.

my scars may not be visible but they are there..

deep within my skin and carved into my bones.

you can see my scars if you look deeply into my eyes.

my eyes will play back every nightmare that caused my scars.

my scars and cuts have completely healed..

well physically that is..

but one morning my skin started to get red i cant explain it..

but it showed every scar i had beneath my skin.

i just hope that doesnt happen with my emotional scars or i wont be able to breath...

because my heart would be ripped out of my chest,

bleeding on the floor,

with every scar screaming out what he did to me..

with his name burned in my heart...