-HER-

Sometimes I feel sad or mad or angry or loathsome or spiteful. Sometimes I doubt my own ability to feel anything outside those emotions.  Sometimes when I feel it you won’t even know.  Sometimes it seems like I’m just ready to go.  Sometimes you’re annoyed like “why did I even invite him to come?”  Sometimes your mad and make me feel dumb for even attempting to try and socialize so that maybe I can justify being alive.  And then there’s her.  She makes me feel alive and realize that those aren’t the only things that exist inside.  Now instead I don’t hide my emotions I wear them with pride.  Man, am I glad to be alive.  Wait no she can’t be leaving. She can’t be gone these feelings are even worse.  Someone just needs to put me in a hearse and bury me in the ground head first. Maybe then I’ll have a reason to be this out of breath.  Maybe then I won’t feel like death.  Maybe then I can go back to those basic emotions instead of all this emptiness and regret.  Sometimes I wish we had never met.