Message

Lovely brown skin

Hope your getting my messages. I don't know why I can't let you go stop thinking about you I don't know if I Love you or its just lust but it hasn't went away. I half think I'm still texting this number because I think your not getting them and I'm able to speak freely. I wrote a beautiful deep poem a few days ago it wasn't specifically about you its was about real love it inspired me to open up and say and write all the beautiful meaningful things I think. I don't mean to be so hard all the time. I wonder if you're going to feel me through my words, this message reads like a poem not on purpose. 

  • Author: Lovely brown skin (Offline Offline)
  • Published: June 8th, 2018 07:15
  • Category: Love
  • Views: 19
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Comments3

  • ForeverJesus7

    This is a good piece. May I give you some positive, constructive, and possibly helpful criticism?
    Persistence is key

    • Lovely brown skin

      Yes go ahead

      • ForeverJesus7

        Maybe you should break up each sentence more.
        Ex.
        Sentence. - new line
        Sentence. - new line
        Sentence. - new line
        Sentence. - new line
        ...or something of that nature.
        It makes it, um, easier to read, and more organized. It also flows better.
        Again, you have a great creative mind. Do not change it.
        Persistence is key.

      • 2 more comments

      • BRIAN & ANGELA

        HELLO FRIEND ~ Love your second Poem and Yes you are getting through beautifully ! I do feel you through your words and Yes it really is a LOVE POEM ~ Yours BRIAN ~ Please check my odd odes ~ Thanks B !

      • dusk arising

        Constructive advice offered.... follow advice as given by ForeverJesus6.
        Look at how other poets do it... there are plenty on here, good idea to read some.

        • Lovely brown skin

          Thank you for the advice. did you like the poem



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