Jamie Newton

Parental Pain

Here comes the pain and I push it away 

I’ll Fill my mind with other stuff today 

Yet you creep back in it’s hard to shake 

Wondering what you think and feel is hard to take 

I don’t know a thing, I’m in the dark 

My parental support torn apart 

The only thing that was sweet and pure 

Lost to me through drugs and their allure 

I’m sorry baby, you will never know 

How I roll in pain and agony so

But not for me, but for precious you

A daddy should be a proud and stable statue 

I let you down and destroyed my soul 

Now there is no where else for me to go

I’ve lost my baby, my heart and my pride 

For nothing more than “good times” on the side 

I will carry on fighting and I will never stop

I will get you back I will come out on top...

Yeah right, my fate is sealed

No more cuddles, no more laughing I finally yield. 

Take her and take her fast 

And while you’re there point that gun and blast 

Oh that would be so simple, such an easy way out 

Just stupid thoughts from a useless lout 

I’m in a bad place, a deep depression, in a fudge 

Hours and days and thousands of pounds in front of a judge 

To no avail, I sit back broken and pale 

I’ve never been a drinker, now Ive swapped drugs for the ale 

I have no idea what is happening to me 

I have a fear I will be dead by the age of 33

She was my anchor, my hopes and my pride

She was also my deepest fears on an opposite tide

Now those fears have finally come true, 

9 months 13 days and two hours since I last saw you. 

 

By J.N

 

 

Comments3

  • Heartwriter

    It was very good. Sad though. We make mistakes. I hope you get it all worked out and return to your child. Thanks for sharing.

    • Jamie Newton

      Thank you, I felt a lot better after writing this. X

    • SilverXball

      My dad left me when I was 11, I learned to move past it through poetry. I hope I can find the same relief :)

      • Jamie Newton

        Thank you for your words

      • Christina8

        Heartbreaking but well written poem. Hopefully you will be reunited with your child under better circumstances. Thanks for sharing your story.

        • Jamie Newton

          You’re welcome, thank you for your kind words.



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