sit upon a rock and gaze
out on the open sea,
gulls rest on a breeze
what is that but free,
wave and rock collide
at this the great divide,
time and tide has been
and gone, what is left we
walk now on.
stroll down the beach
your footprints I will seek
and when I've heard what's
on your mind our friendship
intertwines with out-stretched
arms, you I will embrace at
this our special place.
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Comments2
Zigs,
This exquisite poem and pic have taken me back to when I was sixteen years old. The best memories of the best summer ever!
One observation...
“out stretched”...should it be one word?
“you I”...should it be you and I?
~Laura~
hi Laura so glad this evoked such fond memories, sorry to say but this is the first time on this site I have been offered proper critique if all folk here to do is post and have everyone love every word and line your all missing the whole point of posting poetry in a public forum, so I thank you for this Laura, yes your right on the first point I will change it to out-stretched as how a piece is spoken is key to me, your other point this\\\" with out stretched
arms, you I will embrace\\\" its not both embracing each other for me its me wanting to embrace this other person first it you get me, but a valid point so thanks for your time and effort to give a proper critique ,,,zigs
Very good write ZIGGY.
many thanks this one was wrote way back thanks ,,,zigs
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