Survivor

When I was raped

I didn’t scream

I didn’t cry

I said

No

I said

No

I said

No

I said

No

He didn’t stop

I said yes

So I don’t know

If it was really rape

But the next day

As I was putting away the dishes

I fell down

And cried for three hours

When I told my friend

He told me I should have been more careful

Shouldn’t have gotten so drunk

Should have screamed or fought or anything

But the house was full of sleeping people

These were family friends

It all happened so fast and in slow motion at the same time

You always s learn rape happens in a dark alley

Violent and By a stranger

Not in your friends bed room

soft and not violent at all

my friend are tired of me talking about it

but I need to talk about it

because I feel ashamed if I don’t talk about it

feel like more of a victim less of a survivor

and I know

deep inside I know

im a survivor

and to talk about it

is to survive

it was three years ago

and I still have the memories

I still cant drink and have sex

My fiance still cant touch my breasts

But every day I grow stronger

Every day I stand taller

Every day I am

Survivor