Guilty conscience

It’s time and time again 

I tend to lose myself 

& love a guy as much as I can never tend to love myself 

He was the perfect guy 

He was that sweet love ..

Until I came into his life and rip that heart out of his chest 

And I’m so sorry

I say those words to feel the pain

So I wouldn’t forget the time I had when I was feeling sane

I was wrong 

To put you through the same hole I dug you out 

So I can tie your hands & feet & finish with your mouth 

Then throw you back into the ground and put dirt to your name 

Then say I’m sorry again so you wouldn’t see me as blame

And build a wall so high so I wouldn’t seem to reach around 

To touch another guy & turn his world right upside down 

How can I put this ?

I crave a love that runs so deep

that craves a person so broken 

that they can barely move or speak 

So I become their world 

Become their perfect girl 

& stitch away the fragile part of me that I can barely see 

Cause that’s what love is

So hard to handle 

I can barely focus 

So I paint the picture so they can’t see what’s not important 

Cause that’s what this is 

I wrote these words so I won’t repeat 

Of all these shattered promises

That was brought unto me