Comments received on poems by davmor73
Everyone Dies At The End
Laura🌻 said:
Unfortunately, true and inevitable!
As my Dad would say...
No escape!
We all have to die one day!
Well, he’s gone and
so will I one day!
Good write!
October 29th, 2017 07:21
Laura🌻 said:
Unfortunately, true and inevitable!
As my Dad would say...
No escape!
We all have to die one day!
Well, he’s gone and
so will I one day!
Good write!
October 29th, 2017 07:21
Impression: Sunrise
Nicholas Browning said:
Very well done. Use of synonyms is a great way to improve a piece of literature. Keep it up.
July 5th, 2017 16:52
Nicholas Browning said:
Very well done. Use of synonyms is a great way to improve a piece of literature. Keep it up.
July 5th, 2017 16:52
Impression: Sunrise
FredPeyer said:
Thank you for a wonderful poem. Truly enjoyed it.
July 5th, 2017 13:31
FredPeyer said:
Thank you for a wonderful poem. Truly enjoyed it.
July 5th, 2017 13:31
Impression: Sunrise
Stephen.Sapaugh said:
I really like all of the word choices in this poem, I think you have done a fantastic job. And I think that it is one of the better poems that I have read recently.
The good in the poem resides all over. You have an outstanding usage of punctuation, metaphor, rhyme, and meter.
\"The bad your last two lines Your dove-descended love melts all the chains
And leads me to the light your fire redeems.\" Everything else in the poem follows the metaphor, but these last two lines fall flat. I know you introduced the fire gold face in the first line, however there was no explanation of it. How is fire love relate to doves? I am a bit confused by this? Wouldn\'t a different animal suit this better? And that last line with ,\" And leads me to the light your fire redeems.\" Really confuses me a bit. If he is freeing you how are you lighting his redeeming fire?
The ugly. There is none.
Your poem in all its parts put together is quite solid. I like the imagery, and the metaphors that you employ to get your points across. I hope you continue to write, and If I were to grade this poem I would give it a 7/10. I invite you to come and look at my poem(s), and tell me what you think of them. I always invite critiques.
July 5th, 2017 12:25
Stephen.Sapaugh said:
I really like all of the word choices in this poem, I think you have done a fantastic job. And I think that it is one of the better poems that I have read recently.
The good in the poem resides all over. You have an outstanding usage of punctuation, metaphor, rhyme, and meter.
\"The bad your last two lines Your dove-descended love melts all the chains
And leads me to the light your fire redeems.\" Everything else in the poem follows the metaphor, but these last two lines fall flat. I know you introduced the fire gold face in the first line, however there was no explanation of it. How is fire love relate to doves? I am a bit confused by this? Wouldn\'t a different animal suit this better? And that last line with ,\" And leads me to the light your fire redeems.\" Really confuses me a bit. If he is freeing you how are you lighting his redeeming fire?
The ugly. There is none.
Your poem in all its parts put together is quite solid. I like the imagery, and the metaphors that you employ to get your points across. I hope you continue to write, and If I were to grade this poem I would give it a 7/10. I invite you to come and look at my poem(s), and tell me what you think of them. I always invite critiques.
July 5th, 2017 12:25
