Looking for Pawo
Cheeky Missy said:

Wow. I love all the imagery, it is captivating! The reader travels along tasting that other world and brief moments quite laden with so much to absorb, feel, hear, and see! Awesome! I am too accustomed to rhyming, so stumbled at the first stanza's seeming lack, too delighted with the images and sensations to stop and examine more closely.

If I may be so bold, the author's note says it is in iambic pentametre. That means that every second syllable is accented. The flow begins and travels beautifully rythmic until the second sentence begins in the second line of S1. "Restless" is accented on the first syllable, and "restless" is the 5th and 6th syllables respectively, therefore the flow abruptly trips having accented "taste" and then stumbles in to accenting "RESTless" when it needed an unaccented syllable between "TASTE." and "RESTless." You see at all what I mean? Mastering that little dilemma of truly iAMbic will aid you in sonneteering.
Hope you didn't mind.

Anyway, I really enjoyed all the imagery and scenarios created. It was a fun little traipse!

November 3rd, 2011 16:55