Comments received on poems by flumptydoodle

The Cruelty of Existence.
Syd said:

I enjoyed this piece very much frumptydoodle.

- Syd

February 3rd, 2020 20:25

Arrive home.
Goldfinch60 said:

Home is always a safe and loving haven in our lives.

January 30th, 2020 02:18

Arrive home.
Bragee said:

Making it home once more at the end of the day is an undervalued testimony!

January 29th, 2020 17:00

Falling into You.

BRIAN HERE (Angela is my Fiancee). Hi FLUMPTY DOODLE (great pen name) ~ welcome to MPS ! I was born in Liverpool ~ great City ~ great Poetic Tradition ! John Lennon ~ Roger McGough ~ Adrian Hendry etc. I like this Poem too ! You acknowledge that it is SPONTANEOUS and that is its greatest strength ! It is a good example of a modern free-verse Poem ~ full of rhythm and easy to recite !
It speaks of Sun Kissed Lips (SKL) and their meaning ! SKL are enticing and someone will fall into them ! It speaks of the limits of Love ~ in my experience they are infinite ! Wen someone falls for you you should hold on to them ! However they will occupy your Soul - Heart & Mind and they will stay with you !
My only comment ~ to improve the structure of the Poem would be to space it more poetically. The final verse would read ................

They say they will stay with you through thick and thin,
Give them a chance to prove that.
let them through the gates of your Hell.
If they survive, and they survive for you,
Then they are deserving of entance to your Heaven.
They have fallen into the abyss of You
And that is probably their greatest achievment !

I hope this helps ! Thanks for sharing ~ more please
Yours through Poetry ~ BRIAN & ANGELA
Please check our site ~ Thanks B & A.

January 22nd, 2020 20:12