The Unsaid of Ever Consuming Stress
Bobby O said:

Stuck with the mess of stress that made me guess. Strong line w a good cadence elevating simple rhyme to punctuate with meaning. Nice. However, the piece I diluted in part due to sentence structure in some of the other phrasing. Edgar Allan Poe once stated that the overuse of the personal pronoun “I” tends to suggest that there is a rewrite effort available that works around the overuse and the result rewards with a stringer presentation of a solid idea. Rewrite rewrite rewrite is many a poets advice to sharpen and add intensity. Don’t mean to sound like my take is definitive, I merely share what I learned from people way smarter than I. It’s a trap I’ve fallen into many a time but find it’s usually worth it to rephrase those parts. Please know I mean well and am far from expert so ignoring me is reasonable.

April 15th, 2023 11:28