The Unsaid of Ever Consuming Stress

As much as I try I can’t get it right

The stress of it all makes me fall

Into the deep hole of disappointment 

I can try and try to keep myself steady

I mentally prepare myself 

I'm not ready

To let down everyone else

Because in myself I see 

Failure

But if I try I know I can make it 

But Thinking I’ll  fail I think I’ll fake it

It’s easier that way 

Instead of making myself prey 

Of failure and stress

How did I get myself into this mess 

Consumed by the never-ending decision making 

One wrong move and it’s over

Stuck with the mess of stress that made me guess

 the wrong answer

When I pause to think as a deer that looks in the headlights 

Frozen with fear 

Frozen like ice 

Stuck in the worrisome of my thoughts eliminating every option that could cause trouble

So in the end I won't end up like a mound of the ruble 

Like in a war zone 

After a deadly attack and I'm the only survivor 

But my internal organs collapse and they say "Revive her!" 

All because I made the wrong decision

It's not a big deal

But others will say it is 

But I hold my future in my hands

And I won't allow things to happen 

That I do not want

The stress will not cover my eyes 

And I will fly to the end of the world 

To accomplish what I want in life

Because in the end 

I will not sit back and watch life happen

But I want to run in an exciting fashion

Because if I tried till now I will continue to try even if the stress is overwhelming 

Because in the end, I'm just a plain dress covered in the mess of stress