As much as I try I can’t get it right
The stress of it all makes me fall
Into the deep hole of disappointment
I can try and try to keep myself steady
I mentally prepare myself
I'm not ready
To let down everyone else
Because in myself I see
Failure
But if I try I know I can make it
But Thinking I’ll fail I think I’ll fake it
It’s easier that way
Instead of making myself prey
Of failure and stress
How did I get myself into this mess
Consumed by the never-ending decision making
One wrong move and it’s over
Stuck with the mess of stress that made me guess
the wrong answer
When I pause to think as a deer that looks in the headlights
Frozen with fear
Frozen like ice
Stuck in the worrisome of my thoughts eliminating every option that could cause trouble
So in the end I won't end up like a mound of the ruble
Like in a war zone
After a deadly attack and I'm the only survivor
But my internal organs collapse and they say "Revive her!"
All because I made the wrong decision
It's not a big deal
But others will say it is
But I hold my future in my hands
And I won't allow things to happen
That I do not want
The stress will not cover my eyes
And I will fly to the end of the world
To accomplish what I want in life
Because in the end
I will not sit back and watch life happen
But I want to run in an exciting fashion
Because if I tried till now I will continue to try even if the stress is overwhelming
Because in the end, I'm just a plain dress covered in the mess of stress
-
Author:
sussanwrites2025 (
Offline) - Published: April 15th, 2023 11:11
- Category: Reflection
- Views: 9
- Users favorite of this poem: Bobby O
Offline)
Comments1
Stuck with the mess of stress that made me guess. Strong line w a good cadence elevating simple rhyme to punctuate with meaning. Nice. However, the piece I diluted in part due to sentence structure in some of the other phrasing. Edgar Allan Poe once stated that the overuse of the personal pronoun “I” tends to suggest that there is a rewrite effort available that works around the overuse and the result rewards with a stringer presentation of a solid idea. Rewrite rewrite rewrite is many a poets advice to sharpen and add intensity. Don’t mean to sound like my take is definitive, I merely share what I learned from people way smarter than I. It’s a trap I’ve fallen into many a time but find it’s usually worth it to rephrase those parts. Please know I mean well and am far from expert so ignoring me is reasonable.
Omg, thank you for the advice! I like constructive criticism since it's always what makes me better. And who doesn't want advice from Mr. Poe? Thank you!
Certainly above my skill to offer critique, I nettle was sharing what was shared w me in the past. I still hesitate though cuz it’s tricky. But you are extra cool
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