Comments received on poems by JasmineRay
My life as a flower
vpalexander said:
Beautiful! Minus the misspellings and grammar (which is just accountancy nonsense), I felt invigorated by the sustaining strength of your Self and Core. Fuck 'Em!
January 7th, 2016 20:44
vpalexander said:
Beautiful! Minus the misspellings and grammar (which is just accountancy nonsense), I felt invigorated by the sustaining strength of your Self and Core. Fuck 'Em!
January 7th, 2016 20:44
Depression
chefeyman said:
It's constant. Like time itself. Never give in. Decide you have won and you will. Keep writing.
December 21st, 2015 00:42
chefeyman said:
It's constant. Like time itself. Never give in. Decide you have won and you will. Keep writing.
December 21st, 2015 00:42
life
chefeyman said:
You ARE your generation. You be you. Let others follow. Keep writing.
December 21st, 2015 00:37
chefeyman said:
You ARE your generation. You be you. Let others follow. Keep writing.
December 21st, 2015 00:37
Who am I
JasmineRay said:
I'm sorry about that & thank you, and your very much right, and thanks again for taking the time out of your day to read it, it means a lot i appreciate it
December 17th, 2015 16:25
JasmineRay said:
I'm sorry about that & thank you, and your very much right, and thanks again for taking the time out of your day to read it, it means a lot i appreciate it
December 17th, 2015 16:25
Who am I
Shadow05 said:
Hello,
The format is quite difficult to read, but I think this adds to the questioning of "Who am I?" as you are free-flowing your emotions without structure as you're so emotional and wanting to find answers. You have used some cliche lines such as "wearing a mask" which suggests that you are hiding who you are to everyone else. "open your own casket" in itself is quite chilling, and with "dressed in black" suggests that you are mourning your own death or rather the death of the "mask" and trying to work out who you really are. Good read and I'm sure will relate to a lot of people.
December 13th, 2015 15:36
Shadow05 said:
Hello,
The format is quite difficult to read, but I think this adds to the questioning of "Who am I?" as you are free-flowing your emotions without structure as you're so emotional and wanting to find answers. You have used some cliche lines such as "wearing a mask" which suggests that you are hiding who you are to everyone else. "open your own casket" in itself is quite chilling, and with "dressed in black" suggests that you are mourning your own death or rather the death of the "mask" and trying to work out who you really are. Good read and I'm sure will relate to a lot of people.
December 13th, 2015 15:36
Who am I
Nilanjan said:
I think you need a bit formatting for easy readability... The subject matter is quite nice!!
December 13th, 2015 06:23
Nilanjan said:
I think you need a bit formatting for easy readability... The subject matter is quite nice!!
December 13th, 2015 06:23
Self-Destruction
Yorke said:
Keep on writing, writing has a way of making us see things we otherwise would not see, try writing about the people who "hate" and how much more damaged they are.
There are some excellent rhymes and wordplay in your poem, also a lot of power, a lot!
On a slightly critical note the layout could be changed for a more dynamic impact.
A great write nonetheless, much enjoyed and thanks for sharing!:)
November 29th, 2015 16:55
Yorke said:
Keep on writing, writing has a way of making us see things we otherwise would not see, try writing about the people who "hate" and how much more damaged they are.
There are some excellent rhymes and wordplay in your poem, also a lot of power, a lot!
On a slightly critical note the layout could be changed for a more dynamic impact.
A great write nonetheless, much enjoyed and thanks for sharing!:)
November 29th, 2015 16:55
