Comments received on poems by Antivist
My Old Friend
SheWasTheSun said:
I feel like I, and some people who are closest to me, have battled this same monster. You put it into words wonderfully.
June 8th, 2016 19:39
SheWasTheSun said:
I feel like I, and some people who are closest to me, have battled this same monster. You put it into words wonderfully.
June 8th, 2016 19:39
My Old Friend
lysistrata said:
Your Confessional Poetry is more successful than my Symbolic Approach (Journey to Luna-cy).
Maybe Experience speaks better...
Anyway,Remember that most stories either do not have a clear beginning or an interesting middle or even worse a perfect ending. It's doesn't matter if the end is not perfect.
You could at least try to make it a HAPPY one...
June 8th, 2016 15:34
lysistrata said:
Your Confessional Poetry is more successful than my Symbolic Approach (Journey to Luna-cy).
Maybe Experience speaks better...
Anyway,Remember that most stories either do not have a clear beginning or an interesting middle or even worse a perfect ending. It's doesn't matter if the end is not perfect.
You could at least try to make it a HAPPY one...
June 8th, 2016 15:34
My Old Friend
BRIAN & ANGELA said:
WELCOME ANTIVIST - This is an excellent first poem - direct from your own experience so it deserves a considered analysis. I like the structure 12 neat quatrains with a consistent rhyme pattern (xaxa xbxb xcxc through to xlxl). Several Friends of mine suffer from depression and I can detect their experiences in yours ! S1. They have called it a FRIEND S2. BUT a nasty and unwanted one ! S3. Something they never planned for ! S4. YES Sadistic and leaves yiou emotionally "naked" S5. Almost impossible to fight back S6. Ooooh SUBMISSION S7. Paralysis S8. Several see themselves as "An emotionless Zombie" (frightening !), S9. Changed & manipulated - BUT - thank God not defeated. S10 Knocked down - bur never knocked out ! S11. AMEN Depression cannot be KILLED but it can be CHAINED ! S12. YES they too see it as an unending lifelong fight - but with resolve it can be controlled (chained). Thanks for sharing this very painful poem which ends on a positive note ! S = STANZA - OK - BRIAN
June 8th, 2016 12:48
BRIAN & ANGELA said:
WELCOME ANTIVIST - This is an excellent first poem - direct from your own experience so it deserves a considered analysis. I like the structure 12 neat quatrains with a consistent rhyme pattern (xaxa xbxb xcxc through to xlxl). Several Friends of mine suffer from depression and I can detect their experiences in yours ! S1. They have called it a FRIEND S2. BUT a nasty and unwanted one ! S3. Something they never planned for ! S4. YES Sadistic and leaves yiou emotionally "naked" S5. Almost impossible to fight back S6. Ooooh SUBMISSION S7. Paralysis S8. Several see themselves as "An emotionless Zombie" (frightening !), S9. Changed & manipulated - BUT - thank God not defeated. S10 Knocked down - bur never knocked out ! S11. AMEN Depression cannot be KILLED but it can be CHAINED ! S12. YES they too see it as an unending lifelong fight - but with resolve it can be controlled (chained). Thanks for sharing this very painful poem which ends on a positive note ! S = STANZA - OK - BRIAN
June 8th, 2016 12:48
