After Ten

I am always alone after ten 

And I never know what to do then 

Everyone that I need is in bed 

So I’ m stuck and alone in my head 

When I’m alone and awake my risk doubles 

Because I think of my sadness and troubles 

Though the next day I always feel dumb 

After ten I’m alone and I’m numb

So I reach for whatever I can 

Sometimes I wish it were another man 

But I’m always alone after ten 

i have to figure out what to do then 

I guess I’ll just use my vibrator

And get drunk knowing you’ll fuck me later

Then tomorrow just pretend to be fine 

And say all my good nights around nine 

Then alone I’ll pretend time goes quicker

And pretend I don’t drink too much liquor 

But I don’t because I’m stuck all the time 

So I drink glasses and glasses of wine 

The wine is no help with my pain 

And I know it’ll come back again 

But I’m making it through every day 

Just for all nights to feel the same way 

Because I’m always alone after ten 

Maybe someday I’ll do something then 

Something better than I’ve done before 

Because I know I could do so much more