A STRANGER
A blackened cloud-wrapped vaulted sky
save in the east where furnaces
threw shades of thermogenic blush
as constellations float behind
a blackened cloud-wrapped vaulted sky
The stranger stood in wet surtout
no candle burned within his gaze
his back towards the furnaced sky
in mired ruts where carts had passed
the stranger stood in wet surtout.
A mill of aspect undefined
no chink of light was seen within
where cogs and stone were disengaged
the stranger stood in dark before
a mill of aspect undefined.
In need of toil the stranger left
His planned return at break of dawn.
( My own form which I call an Ednet. It consists
of 17 lines in 4 stanzas of 5, 5, 5, and 2 lines. The only other ‘rule‘
being that in the first 3 stanzas line 1 is repeated in line5.)
-
Author:
Michael Edwards (
Offline) - Published: December 15th, 2018 01:21
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 62
- Users favorite of this poem: Laura🌻
Offline)
Comments7
Intriguing write Michael.
I feel sorry for him - long journey looking for work and he arrived too late - aw piffle.
A fine write and pic M. It's all right for some folk, surtouting "mostly". I wondered what he was up to, until I looked up the word!
The pic fits the poem - done on purpose?
Not really - as for surtout I came across this in Shirley by Charlotte Bronte - lovely word for a great garment - going to see if I can get one on Amazon
I thought, if the pic was a bit rainy, it might enhance and match the poem even more. You seen Sir Toot?
Aye 'appen lad.... in need of t'oil... To light his lamp i suppose.
'Ope he dint catch cold in t'wet coat.
Nay but he had t'find a place f't night - 'ope it weren't under yon hedge.
THANKS UNCLE MIKE : For a perfect Picture & Poem in a Perfect Form. I am learning so so much about Poetry from MPS ! Its Saturday evening here and mid-Summer another day sailing in Auckland Bay with Ruth & her Cousins. It doesnt feel like CHRISTMAS : Wish BRIAN was here ! I love the nostalgia in your poem : the work & toil of yesteryear !
Love through the MUSE : ANGELA 🧡🧡🧡🧡
English Village PUBS are so unique and always warm & welcoming and I always get "chatted up" whether Im alone or with BRIAN ! Friendliest places on Earth !
I love the language of yesteryear - that's why the Brontes, hardy, Webb et al are my favourite authors. Thanks for all your kind words Angela - and I am so envious of your activities in NZ .
You itching and scratching M? I am a bit. Not the dreaded urticaria, when it's very chilly. I only get it slightly.
If it's not due to the weather, I must have fleas! One suggestion says 'Avoid triggers'. I will never get out the front door. Doh!
Yes it has started to kick in. Not too bad at the moment - just round my ankles which is probably the most exposed part (only socks and flapping trousers) as I keep wrapped. You okay? Want a flea trap? Did you get them from Fido?
Ahh - a dilemma for me then if it's fleas. Get rid of Fido and risk swooning, or keep him and itch. My forearms get the itching first it seems. I don't get much of a rash though. You know Urtie (Gertie) Caria?
Yes - don't go near her - she's got a Pit Bull Terrier.
Michael,
MAGNIFICENCE at its best!
Your command of the language and your ability to convey a message with it is extraordinary and a beautiful painting to go along with it!
~Laura~
P.S. - I love your “Ednet” form!
Laura you're an absolute darling - it's comments like yours which make it all worthwhile and encourage me to keep writing. Mind you I do take quite a while putting poetry like this together which is why I like the short pieces I write and which act as great fillers.
you learn every day
To be able to comment and rate this poem, you must be registered. Register here or if you are already registered, login here.